Life here in Jamaica is good. The four of us are "settled" in our roles and life has a new "normal". We are balancing rest time, busy busy busy time and family time.
In our typical day (which is never a weekend!!), I wake early, open up the gates and unlock doors, have time with God, kids wake and eat breakfast, some days we head to a school for devotions but other days it is straight to school work. Around 10:30 we collect chicken eggs and feed/water the chickens and then back to school for another hour. After lunch each day is different we may play outside, work outside, talk with staff, visit the team, take a team to Bible school, do crafts or the kids watch a movie and I work. I work on the Student Support program, the Store, make desserts for dinner or whatever else may happen to need attention. Evenings consist of dinner (most nights with the team) and then family time. Lately we have been outside, helping Audrey on her bike and watching Braylon on his big wheel. After bath time the kids head to their room and Aaron (Nate too) and I do a short workout. The night ends with a Psych episode, a game on the ipod or reading.
Sorry if my daily synopsis was painfully boring and poorly written. What I am trying to portray is: we appear to have things figured out. If I did not have emotions or the Holy Spirit, I would think that we are settled, that we are in the groove, right where we are supposed to be.
The truth is just the opposite....I know we are following our current roles and listening to Christ call on our lives but I also know that we are not to be comfortable. That God is still unfolding our lives, that we are not to be stationary. My mind has been so busy lately, which in turn is making me physically tired and ready for early bedtime. Aaron and I have been prompted to expound upon underdeveloped ideas (maybe ideas is to general), that we never used to be concerned about. How has God geared us to minister? What types of ministering are important to us? We are supposed to reach the lost, DUH! BUT how? Through giving? Through relationship? Through raising up other Christians? Is our focus on the teams that come down? The people we see everyday? How do we incorporate both?
On top of developing our "family's mission statement and plan" God has been working on my heart. Bringing back whispers he offered years ago. I feel like God is saying, I have not forgot X,Y and Z. My human mind trying to figure out everything is WORE out! How is God going to take where we are now, what we are learning, bundle it with X,Y,Z . What does God's plan look like? How will He do it? Some of it makes no sense to me! Maybe if I just let God be God then it would make more sense?
Not maybe but it will! I don't have to figure it out, God will unfold. I know this! God has proved himself over and over again. In my daily devotions, the Word has spoke to me, in my daily walk God has used others to reveal himself. God shows himself in His time and I do not need to mentally work so hard to figure it out.
Just the other day, I was wrestling with God in my head. Aaron placed a vision in front of me that he thought God was calling us to. Although some where deep inside of me, I knew Aaron was right, I was not ready to let go. So as I drove to Bible school, as I interacted with the kids, as I talked to the ladies, my mind was occupied. I tossed ideas back and forth, told God he didn't make sense, that Aaron was being selfish and that I could see other plans being better. Then it happened the only day I sat in on the Bible story (the story prepared for and geared to children) and God used it to speak to me! Hmmph! If I am going to be childish then I suppose God will speak to me as a child :) and I am so glad he did.
I am still wrestling and not fully submitting. I am working on it, I really am. I am believing that I must have faith to walk out in the deep even when I cannot see the whole picture.
The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.