How long have I been saved????

Raised in Church-check
Bible reader-check
Faithful church attender-check
Growth Group member-check
Christ follower and lover-check
Saved by grace-check
Understanding salvation.......just beginning to grasp it. Lately I have been doing some searching and thinking within myself and my spiritual relationship with God and WOW, is it ugly. I have never fully understood or realized what God did for ME. I am not saying I have a complete grasp but I am gaining insight. Today I was listening to Todd Agnew (this is one of my favorites) and he was describing so perfectly what I am finally coming to realize. Even when I mess up his love is unchanging. God knows my thoughts, ideas and imperfections but yet he still sees in me something worthy of reflecting His Glory. There is no way I can fully grasp that this God who is perfect and sacrificed His Son for me can completely forget every sin I have ever committed and not change his feelings about me. Sin after sin after sin, shortcoming after shortcoming after shortcoming God is there to forgive me and show me his mercy.
1 John 1 ⁸ If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. ⁹ But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
I used to think and until recently tried to be "perfect" follow all the rules and do everything God called us to do. In the past few months I have learned that I was trying to do these actions out of a desire to be perfect. I wanted to keep all the rules for the sake of not messing up and sinning. I need to have a servant's heart, following God's commands because I love Him. Not trying to be sinless because that is impossible.
Ephesians 2 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. ⁸For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹not by works, so that no one can boast.

I know God only gives us what we can handle with his strength; generally I only think of this when "bad" things are happening to myself or others. As I was typing tonight I realized that God has been revealing passages to me in new ways and with new understanding. Until this point in my life and after particular circumstance am I ready to handle this new knowledge and only with his strength/wisdom can I grasp these teachings.